Thoughts On Skinny Shaming

I’m going into a personal little rant today, because I’m getting pretty fed up of the fact people are still discriminating people for their weight.

Weight is quite personal thing to me – I’ve always been slightly underweight (through no fault of my own, may I add) and it’s just the way it is. Last year I was quite unwell and my weight went down to the lowest it’s ever been since I’ve been an adult and holy crap, I looked so thin. But what I don’t understand is why people feel the need to comment on it? Like, I wasn’t well…

Below are a few examples about skinny shaming that I thought I’d write a little bit about.

EXAMPLE 1

Recently I was scrolling through instagram (as I do, a ridiculous amount) and Georgia Toffolo (a girl from Made In Chelsea) had put up a cute little photo of her wearing a nice blue dress looking totally normal and happy. However – I saw a comment underneath like ‘she’s far too thin’ and there were definitely some others which I think have since been deleted. This then made me think ‘are my legs too skinny?’ or ‘am I ugly because I’m skinny?’ or ‘do people think I’m too thin?’.

Weight in itself is an extremely personal thing, so as soon as someone comments on it (whether you’re being called fat or skinny) is never going to have super positive reactions. In reality, who cares what size someone’s legs are? Is it really relevant?

Georgia toffolo skinny

EXAMPLE 2

I was taking some lame selfies in one of my new skirts and I was looking really skinny because of the tucked in vest top I was wearing. When it came to editing the photos, I genuinely hated the photos of me where I looked super thin because I knew people would see it and think it’s ‘too skinny’ – when really I should just be happy with how my body is and post photos regardless, should I not? I occasionally don’t post certain photos online because of how thin people will say I look (even though that’s just the way my body is) and now I think about it, I shouldn’t care.

This makes me think that I’m definitely not the only person who doesn’t upload a certain photo because they’re worried about appearing ‘too skinny’ – when surely it’s all about showing off my sassy new skirt?

IMG_4664-001

EXAMPLE 3

‘Real men prefer curves’. This phrase really pisses me off. Firstly, who decides what all men like anyway, secondly, does that mean my boyfriend isn’t a real man because he loves a skinny girl? Sure, curvy women are gorgeous too, but why are we still singling people out? Like, isn’t everyone different and beaut in their own way? A lot of people backlash skinny people because ‘that’s what most models are’ – but since when do I decide what size models are? It’s not my fault, and just because some models are skinnier than me doesn’t automatically mean I aspire to be like them. I wish I was a bit more ‘plump’ sometimes but whenever I say it I get laughed at, yet if someone who was slightly overweight said ‘I want to be a bit smaller’ then it would be considered normal.

I just don’t like how apparently all ‘skinny girls’ have a stereotype which means they don’t eat anything, all want to be models and want to be as skinny as possible.

skinny shaming

Everyone has an idea of what being ‘perfect’ is, but the reality is that they’re all different.

I think the moral of this blog post is that if you get one of those comments about your weight, big or small (pun kinda intended), just remember everyone has different desires when it comes to their size.

R x

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If you liked this post you may like I Didn’t Finish My Degree: Am I A Failure? or “Don’t Be Like The Rest Of Them Darling”.

61 Comments

  1. 7th June 2016 / 8:44 am

    Preach! I was a (skinny) teenager when all the ‘Real men prefer curves’ and ‘Real women have curves’ bullshit started appearing (in backlash to the whole Size 0 thing) and it really affected my confidence, especially since I’d get the odd catty comment. I love that you’ve written about this – as you say, discriminating people because of their weight, whatever it might be, is not okay. For what it’s worth, I think you always look lovely 🙂 xx

    Toasty

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:25 pm

      Yeah the quote is good because it’s saying curvy woman are gorgeous, which they are, but at the same time it’s belittling different type of people. Annoys me so much! Glad you like the post! 🙂

      R xoxo

  2. sheridan grady
    7th June 2016 / 9:00 am

    I love this! So so true! I cannot understand why it seems okay to bash people for being smaller!! Hate it! Great post! x

    http://www.shayholly.co.uk

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:25 pm

      I know right – it annoys me that size has to come into everything still!

      R xoxo

  3. Millie
    7th June 2016 / 9:01 am

    Love this posts, I completely agree with you! I honestly don’t understand why people feel the need to post nasty comments on peoples weight, when it has nothing to do with them! That skirt looks lovely on you!

    Millie x // Millie’s Wardrobe

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:26 pm

      Exactly, commenting on someones photo with a negative comment is just pointless… Like they’re not gaining anything from it are they?! Losers!

      R xoxo

  4. Deborah Chloé
    7th June 2016 / 9:01 am

    I love love LOVE this post! You said everything so freaking on point! I’ve always been super skinny in my teenage years and everyone was like “real mane like curves”. So, what does CURVES mean for society because then, when I got older, I got curves and suddenly I was “too fat”- surprise surprise! 😀 people are so unhappy with themselves and nearly every single person on this planet has some issues with their bodies (confidence) but some just can’t handle it without bringing others down! It’s so sad because we could reach SO much together and I would love this cycle of shaming to stop!

    This post got me! I just wanna hang out with you and talk about life with a huuuuge cuppa coffee 😀

    Xo Deborah Chloé

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:27 pm

      Ahhhh exactly! I think that too, as soon as someone has curves you see the whole ‘you’ve put on weight’ thing and it’s like there’s no middle ground so I think everyone just needs to ignore all the petty comments. Glad you liked this post so much lovely! 🙂

      R xoxo

  5. 7th June 2016 / 9:30 am

    Oh FUCK yeah. You tell em, girl.

    I think the main issue, though, is that when people skinny shame it’s done on the assumption that that person has starved themselves to be that weight. When the reality is they have a high metabolism/it’s their natural shape etc etc. It’s just plain ignorance in my opinion.

    Great post though. I love reading interesting articles about culture over make up/beauty posts at the minute so this was a great little morning read.

    Katie xx ¦ La Coco Noire

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:28 pm

      Ugh exactly that! Being skinny and also healthy is still a thing and some people are just born that way – but it doesn’t mean they don’t feel offended by being told they’re skinny. Glad you liked the post 🙂

      R xoxo

  6. Caterina
    7th June 2016 / 10:46 am

    it’s the same way around for curvy girls. men love skinny girls, they don’t want to see fat (I heard some guys saying something absolutely atrocious about it !). it’s a snake eating its own head. people are extremely judgmental and society is not helping at all (+ magazines, stereotypes, tv, etc!)

    xx from Brighton
    Cate ღ kate/idoscope | youtube | Enter my Charlotte Tilbury GIVEAWAY here

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:29 pm

      It happens for both thin girls and larger girls, I have no idea why people feel the need to make comments… They gain nothing in return! I agree, everyone has their own idea of perfect but people don’t realise everyone’s ideas are different.

      R xoxo

  7. 7th June 2016 / 10:52 am

    THIS POST GIRL! PREACH!
    I’ve been from a size 16 with huge boobs and wobbly thighs to now being a size 6 with tiny boobs and a flat bum and I even do modelling! But, I feel like no matter what size I am, there’s always going to be negative connotations! It’s ridiculous! Skinny shaming though, is something that needs to be highlighted because your body being scrutinised, really hurts! I hate the fact that when I try on pretty bralets or crop tops I have no cleavage or look a way that men might deem ‘sexy’! So being ‘thin’ and ‘skinny’ really does have its downfalls too!

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:31 pm

      Yeah being fat or skinny both have pros and cons, and in the end some of us are going to be one way and others will be the other way – surely that’s just life. But what I hate is that there seems to be a ‘wrong answer’ to being a certain weight, like just be whatever you are!

      R xoxo

  8. 7th June 2016 / 12:12 pm

    Thank you for this post although I guess you would say I’m curvy I hate it when slimmer girls are picked on! My two best friends are naturally thin and they are forever being told to “eat more” or that they are “just skin and bone” and it really upsets me. Instead of attacking one body image we should be celebrating them all and making sure no one feels insecure no matter what size they are. Great post lovely!

    Ella xx
    http://www.inellaselement.co.uk

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:32 pm

      Yeah I’m 100% one of those girls who eats loads and puts on no weight, and although it sounds super glorious I’ve tried for years and years to put more weight on so I was less skinny. These days I just do whatever the hell I want, but it annoys me how it’s still being talked about!

      R xoxo

  9. Erin
    7th June 2016 / 12:37 pm

    I think there is still a fashion statement around being skinny though, and I think that’s what the issue is. I think if you are naturally thin, and eat well, are healthy and happy then that’s excellent, but if you can clearly see someone starving themselves and being proud of their bones pertruding from their body then that’s what the issue is. It’s like the whole Cheryl Cole debate, people were worried, she was way too thin. My comment is I would never show off my bulging belly on Instagram, it’s not healthy, or pretty lol and not something I think anyone should want to have, so why is it ok for girls to post their shoulder blades poking out their back? It’s not healthy if they aren’t eating correctly, and it’s giving teenagers the wrong idea of what normal is, and making them question their eating in aim to be a size 6, that’s the issue with it in my opinion, I have no issues with girls who are a size 6, I have issues with it being sought after like a medal, when size 12/14 is the average! But hey, that’s just my opinion 🙂

    http://www.makeerinover.co.uk

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:35 pm

      Yeah I totally see that point – and it really doesn’t help with the whole skinny shaming thing. The thing I hate is that if someone lost/gained weight out of their control (being ill or medication or something) then why should they be like… ashamed of it? Like Cheryl lost weight because her dad had died so she was having a tough time, and the fact people felt the need to comment was just uneccessary really. I do totally agree with you! I hate how a lot of younger people desire the whole size -100 look instead of just looking after what size they are and being happy with it.

      R xoxo

  10. Vanessa
    7th June 2016 / 1:06 pm

    I think the whole “real men prefer curves” thing started in order to make curvy women feel better about themselves. And before anyone jumps down my throat about what I just said, I’m a curvy size 10 (US), so I definitely know what I’m talking about. Now, having said that, that doesn’t mean it’s right to make others (i.e. skinny women) feel bad just so we can make US feel a little better about our bodies.

    It’s a shame that we all can’t accept each other for who we are. The world would be a much kinder place.

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:36 pm

      I can see that, and it’s great for empowering curvy girls but the problem it has it that it also gives off negativity to anyone who isn’t curvy. So by emopowering curvy girls it’s just dissing everyone else.

      R xoxo

  11. 7th June 2016 / 1:32 pm

    I’ve been a variety of sizes over the years from a size 8 (oooh, I can’t imagine you looking that skinny, that’s unhealthy) to a size 14 (Nah, you were never a size 14. You don’t look like you’d be fat!”)

    People will comment no matter what because people are a bag of dicks. Fact. x

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:37 pm

      This is totally my point, so many people have been both ends of the spectrum and it doesn’t seem to matter what end you are, people still comment about it which is what annoys me the most! They are deffo all bunches of dicks haha!

      R xoxo

  12. 7th June 2016 / 1:38 pm

    I always hate what this arguement comes down to – that people feel they have the right to comment on other peoples shape and size. I have always been overweight, and with my IBS I sometimes look pregnant. It hurts so much when people comment on this. I also cringe when people comment on the fact I have lost weight, like my whole worth is based on my weight.

    As for real men, real men like who the fuck they want to like. Keep rocking things, that skirt looks gorgeous and I would never have looked at it and thought wow shes too skinny, I would have thought fab skirt 🙂

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:38 pm

      I have no idea why people get such weird kicks out of commenting on peoples weight, it just makes no sense to me! It’s so tough too when you’re naturally a certain way and especially when your health makes an impact on your weight too and it’s like you can’t control it. Irritates me so much! Thank you for such a nice comment 🙂

      R xoxo

  13. 7th June 2016 / 3:05 pm

    Any kind of weight shaming is so so unnecessary and can’t believe that people still think it’s okay to comment on other peoples appearances in any aspect. Skinny shaming gets under looked I think but it still does have a massive impact. I’ve always been quite skinny, especially in secondary school. I always had comments about scrawny legs – just makes you feel weird.
    You’re right, it’s so important to love your body! Personally, I think you’re absolutely rocking it in that skirt, it really complements you! It’s so hard to ignore other peoples comments and your own thoughts though which is annoying! Self-love is so important! I get annoyed at myself at how much other peoples opinions mater to me – sigh!xo

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:40 pm

      It’s SO unnecessary, they get nothing out of it so why bother hurting people’s feelings? Does my head in. Exactly, I do think people need to learn to not let people’s comments get the better of them (I suck at this) but that way people would get less of a ‘kick’ and so hopefully they’d stop!

      R xoxo

  14. 7th June 2016 / 6:15 pm

    Great post! I think a lot of people are affected by this! Also “real women have curves” thing because that makes me angry! I think as long as you feel healthy that’s all that matters!
    I wrote a post on skinny shaming a while back, just goes to show how much it affects people, I bet there’s tonnes more people, that post here > http://racheleiwood.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/skinny-shaming.html?m=1

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:41 pm

      I agree! Surely if you feel healthy and well then it shouldn’t matter! And oooh I’ll definitely take a look now!

      R xoxo

  15. 7th June 2016 / 7:21 pm

    Agree! I hate that people tend to talk in negatives, like the “real men like cuves, dogs like bones” in your examples. As if you couldn’t be happy with your body without dissing people with another body type!

    • 7th June 2016 / 7:42 pm

      Yeah exactly, it’s annoying that by trying to be positive with one thing leads to dissing another thing. Ugh!

      R xoxo

  16. 7th June 2016 / 8:13 pm

    Totally agree with you! I’ve never been ‘skinny’ (I have been slim, just don’t have the build for skinny lol) it drives me insane seeing all the rubbish circulating the internet. I’m curvy, but I appreciate that some people aren’t skinny by choosing. Don’t let people make you feel bad about your size, you’re made the way you’re made and there’s nothing wrong with that x

    • 8th June 2016 / 9:30 am

      Exactly – no matter what size you are there should be no hate towards people of a similar size or the opposite! Thanks lovely 🙂

      R xoxo

    • 8th June 2016 / 9:31 am

      Definitely – there’s no such thing as perfect and nobody is identical! 🙂

      R xoxo

  17. 7th June 2016 / 11:45 pm

    Great Post Robyn!! Nobody ever thinks that skinny women have it tough but they do! Just the same as every bloody women living in today’s society does!! I’m so fed up of it I can’t tell you!! Why can’t we just be happy the way we are??? UGH!!!

    • 8th June 2016 / 9:32 am

      Thank you Sarah! I sometimes think thinner people are overlooked with the shaming but I think people are more aware of it now. I’m happy the way I am but it seems like someone always won’t be – no idea why people need to comment!

      R xoxo

  18. 8th June 2016 / 9:00 am

    love this post!!!! I’ve always been naturally small ( I’m a uk size 4 and trust me, I eat what I want haha) and have experienced so many remarks over the past about whether or not I’m so skinny! Growing up, I desperately wanted to have bigger boobs and curves because I felt stupid being small, but now, I’m happy with being the size that I am!!

    this post was such a good read, thank you for posting !

    Billie Xx

    http://www.allureofagirl.wordpress.com

    • 8th June 2016 / 9:32 am

      I’ve been totally the same, I always wanted bigger boobs and a proper bum but in the end my body just isn’t built that way – I couldn’t care less now! Glad you like the post 🙂

      R xoxo

  19. 8th June 2016 / 10:13 pm

    I’m SO glad you addressed this because skinny shaming is BEYOND annoying. We are all different and that is perfectly okay – I’m recovered from anorexia and now naturally sit at a curvy size 8 (not at all skinny, but not big either) and a woman at work said to me ‘you need to change your butchers, you need more meat’ and I just thought that this lady has NO IDEA what I’ve been through. If I’d have said something to her (she was overweight), there would have been uproar. Weight is such a personal thing and if we don’t have anything nice to say, we shouldn’t say anything at all! xxx

    P.S I think you look amazing!

    Sam // What I Know Now

    • 9th June 2016 / 8:35 am

      See it’s comments like those which are SO unnecessary! Like, what are they gaining out of saying something so pointless? Exactly, we just should all say nothing about it!

      R xoxo

  20. 9th June 2016 / 10:54 am

    I’m curvy, and carry a little excess weight, I wish I could be a little slimmer. It’s all about the shamers own insecurities normally. Lets just embrace all shapes and sizes!
    Bee | QueenBeady.com

    • 9th June 2016 / 3:43 pm

      Yeah that is true, but I think those people just loved themselves! We’re all different after all 🙂

      R xoxo

  21. 9th June 2016 / 11:44 am

    I can totally relate to this post as I am naturally skinny myself, and it irks the hell out of me when people tell me to put on weight (it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just not as simple as you think it is). It also annoys me when girls think it’s okay to use the phrase “real men prefer curves” just because they want to feel better about their body type. It’s kinda unfair, if you want to feel good about yourself, is it necessary to put others down?

    I used to be so self-aware of my thin body and because of that sometimes I lose confidence and don’t want to look good altogether even though the new dress I just bought is banging. I love clothes and dressing up so I really don’t want to feel like I can’t pull anything off.

    Fortunately I stopped caring about what other people think and just went on with what I know would make me feel happy. Styling is what triggered me to start blogging and I have never regretted that decision ever since.

    I hope you will no longer feel insecure with whatever you want to wear. Rock that outfit girl!

    • 9th June 2016 / 3:44 pm

      It’s so unfair to put one group of people down to help another – that’s what I find the worst. I’m glad you stopped caring about what people think, that’s what I do now and just love yourself. Thanks honey!

      R xoxo

  22. Morgan Gifford
    10th June 2016 / 1:46 am

    I’ve always been very thin and until not too long ago I didn’t care. But then a girl I’m friends with became a body builder and started sharing things on Instagram about how men like strong women and how skinny wasn’t attractive and I instantly felt insecure. I have very skinny arms and legs and sometimes I’m worried that people will think they’re too skinny. I try to remind myself that it doesn’t matter what other people think because my husband thinks I’m beautiful and because someday we’ll all be bones anyway. Life is too short to worry about things that don’t need to be changed.

    http://www.blessedmesses.com

    • 10th June 2016 / 9:29 am

      Yeah that’s what hurts me too. It’s like you know people love you the way you are but you don’t want to feel like other people think you’re ugly because you’re skinny. Don’t worry I’m sure you look beaut! 🙂

      R xoxo

  23. Olivia
    11th June 2016 / 5:22 pm

    Couldn’t agree more! I hate the phrase “real men prefer curves” it’s like hold up! You’re now shaming another size to pick up another. I’m a UK Size 12 so have never been told I’m too skinny but I have been told I’m too big so I can appreciate the annoyance of being told you’re never acceptable.
    As you said being skinny is not your fault, it’s your body and that’s how you are made. You shouldn’t be shamed for that! I think all of your photos are so gorgeous and the last thing on my mind when looking at them is your weight!

    • 11th June 2016 / 7:29 pm

      Yeah exactly that! It’s just the way we are I don’t want to feel belittled by it! Thanks lovely 🙂

      R xoxo

  24. 12th June 2016 / 12:37 am

    Why can’t people just get along? This is just the same as every type of discrimination. I have been bullied in the past and know that feeling when I have been called names. Everyone is just different and are all great in their own way. No one has the right to put down another person base on appearance!

    • 12th June 2016 / 2:00 pm

      Exactly! Everyone is different and I don’t know why people feel the need to big up one group of people and belittle another. Ugh!

      R xoxo

  25. 13th June 2016 / 4:47 pm

    It’s wonderful to read your words and see the comments that so many people have written. It’s hard enough that we (aparrently) have men judging us, why do women put each other down so much as well. I can’t even mention the idea of heading to the gym to some people without a backlash of comments saying why are you going to the gym, you don’t need to lose weight, you are way too skinny to go to the gym … err perhaps we all need to go to the gym for our health, to keep fit and grow up nice and strong? … No one has the right to make you feel like you aren’t a real women! We should all be building each other up… you want to eat healthy, good for you! You want to eat an entire pizza in one sitting? Order me one up too! You want to go shopping to find an amazing outfit that enhances your curves? Great, let’s get me an amazing outfit that flatters my uncurvy but still a real womans body at the same time… xoxo

    • 14th June 2016 / 7:41 pm

      I get that too! I say I need to exercise and people say ‘no you don’t you’re so skinny’… yeaaaah but it’s healthy! Such a fab comment, thanks girly!

      R xoxo

  26. 16th June 2016 / 10:00 am

    I can’t tell you how much I agree with this! It’s still singling out a group of people to put down. Honestly it’s why I hated that Megan Trainor song – such a bad message.

    x
    http://www.flawd.co.uk

    • 16th June 2016 / 8:09 pm

      I hated that song so much – they think they’re sending out good messages but they only are to a certain number of people!

      R xoxo

  27. 17th June 2016 / 2:37 am

    Ugh I wish people just wouldn’t comment on other peoples weight in general, when it comes down to it whether someone is large or small we’ll never know if that’s genetic, because of an illness or a personal choice etc. So because we don’t ever know the full story I feel like we should all just keep our mouths shut, unless it’s to give a compliment!

    http://www.thesundaymode.blogspot.com.au

    • 17th June 2016 / 9:33 am

      There are so many reasons behind it aren’t there! I agree – thanks for the comment!

      R xoxo

  28. 17th June 2016 / 5:48 pm

    I can relate to that! I was always underweight and heard the phrase “too skinny” sooo many times. I hope someday people will realise that there is no perfection and stop shaming each other for the looks.

    http://lizalauf.blogspot.co.uk/ xx

    • 18th June 2016 / 9:09 pm

      So tricky isn’t it. I know some people just say it without realising it’s an insult but it can really damage people!

      R xoxo

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