I Went From A Size 6 To A Size 12, And I WILL Talk About It

Weight is always an iffy subject, and often one people hide away from discussing in case they’re going to offend someone. I highly come under that category, especially as I’ve always been a pretty skinny girl. I’ve expressed my feelings towards skinny shaming on my blog before, and how I think it can be just as damaging calling a skinny person ‘skinny’ as it can calling a fat person ‘fat’ – after all, we all want different things for our bodies and all have our own insecurities, right?

Rewind 3 years. I was really ill, in and out of hospitals and doctors with liver problems, anxiety and bouts of depression (mainly caused by the yuck anxiety that decided it was going to randomly take over my life when I was at University). That year I lost over a stone in weight, because anxiety caused me to not want to eat due to the worry of being sick. It was a vicious cycle, but to be honest I was always quite little so I didn’t necessarily look that different. I was a size 6 back then, with a 24-25 inch waist weighing about 6 and a half stone.

Fast forward on one year, I was getting to grips with my anxieties and starting to get to grips with general life, and I’d tried to get into a more normal eating pattern. Things were going well, but I was still conquering the underlying causes of my anxiety, and generally not leaving the house much. Because of this, I was still unhealthily skinny because every time I tried to take a step out of my comfort zone, it would wipe me out for a good few days.

Fast forward to now. I’ve done amazing things with my anxiety, and I think it was mainly overcome (not fully overcome, as it never fully goes, but mostly) by getting a boyfriend. Having a boyfriend literally forces you to go out. You have to go out and meet them. You have to go on dates. And I didn’t want to lose this guy… So I did it. It took a few months of getting me out of the house (and puking next to his car – but not *on* his car might I add) to get me to a comfortable level, but it made me realise that things were ok and that I could manage.

And slowly but surely, I ate more. I managed to go out of the house and not have to worry about being home by lunchtime so I didn’t have to eat in public. I could finish a meal and enjoy it because I had finally expanded my stomach. I enjoyed eating again (BECAUSE I LOVE FOOD) and I just became ME again.

I went from a size 6 to a size 10/12 in 3 years. I went from a 24-25 inch waist to a 29 inch waist. I went from 6 and a half stone to 9 and a half stone.

I have skinny arms and lower legs/ankles and all the weight sits around my bum/hips, but I’m fully ok with that. I’m in love with my body at the moment. My clothes fit me (well, none of my fucking old ones, but it’s a fab excuse for buying loads of new clothes).

But why am I making these points and dishing out my life story?

To me, everyone has a weight journey. You might be small, and always be small. You might be big and always be big. Or a mix of the two. But one thing I have always been really frightened to do is celebrate my weight gain, and my weight journey. I mean, I’m now a size 10/12, that’s still smaller than the average woman, isn’t it? And yet throughout writing this all I can think about is ‘how can I word this so people don’t think fuck off you skinny bitch‘. It’s not right. Why can’t I be happy about it? Why am I so worried that anyone larger than a size 12 will tell me to shut the hell up?

My weight journey is not only just weight gain, it’s been a part of my mental health issues for almost 3 years. Weight is something that everyone feels and something everyone has an opinion on, but just because I’m ‘smaller’ doesn’t mean I don’t feel insecurities about my own body either.

Did you know I have stretch marks now on my hips? Did you know I got asked if I was pregnant the other day? Did you know my boyfriend and I play games to see who has the biggest belly after we eat a big pizza?

These feelings are so exciting for me because it’s what I’ve wanted to feel for years. I’ve always wanted substance to my body, and to look healthy instead of jaunted and unwell. It’s MY personal opinion on MY body. Some people even think those things listed above couldn’t possibly happen to a girl of ‘my size’, but they do, and I wish people would accept and go along with it instead of playing the *insert offensive skinny comment* card.

I will celebrate my weight gain and I will talk about it. Guys, I’VE GOT BOOBS!!!

SHOP THE LOOK

Top – Topshop

Cropped Trousers – Topshop

Shoes – M&S

Bag – River Island

Sunglasses – ASOS

All I hope this post does for you all is let you know that your opinions ALL matter when it comes to weight, whether you’re a size 0 or a size 26. You can want to be small, or want to be big, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Lots of love to you all for being so supportive for the last few years because without you I wouldn’t be the healthy and happy girl that I am now.

R x

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42 Comments

  1. 14th July 2017 / 8:06 am

    So proud of you Robyn, you look amazing! xxx

  2. 14th July 2017 / 8:19 am

    I am actually really shocked you are a size 10/12 because to me, you look smaller than me and i’m 10 stone but size 8. It just goes to show how weight and sizes are completely unique and different in everyone! I think you look bloody incredible now and I admire you for sharing your story. You’re right, no matter what size you are, there is ALWAYS a weight story behind it and just because you are slim, people should assume everything has always been fine xxx

    • 14th July 2017 / 2:20 pm

      Exactly! I did think someone would say ‘but you don’t look like a size 10/12’ but it just goes to show how weight can be distributed and how different it can look. My weight seems to not sit ‘flat’ but my stomach sits out like I’m pregnant all the time so that’s why I have a larger waist than most people would think. Everyone deffo has their own story! Thank you SO much x

      R xoxo

  3. 14th July 2017 / 9:01 am

    This was so lovely to read. Weight journeys are often how people lose weight but this is so refreshing and I can empathise with you to an extent on this. Bloody well done for pushing yourself and I want so many people to read this! Gaining weight is so often portrayed as a negative thing but oh my god it can be such a wonderful-life changing-life saving thing. You look bloody amazing and those trousers are fierce!
    All the best.
    Katie X
    Littlekaatie.com

    • 14th July 2017 / 2:21 pm

      Yeah I often think weight stories regarding weight gain are so often not talked about because either it’s seen as bad, or it’s seen as offensive to others. So glad you enjoyed the read and thank you SO much, the trousers are just everything!!

      R xoxo

    • 14th July 2017 / 2:22 pm

      Thank you so much, Jess! Means a lot to hear that. <3

      R xoxo

  4. Abi
    14th July 2017 / 4:39 pm

    I loved this so so much!! You look so beautiful, you should be proud of yourself for posting this. I found it really interesting to read, you never really know the struggles that anyone else goes through. You look absolutely amaizng, and the most important thing is how you feel in yourself! x

    Abi | abistreetx

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:00 pm

      Aw Abi thanks so much! You never know other people’s stories do you, and I think that’s why I wanted to share my story as I seem so kinda ‘normal and happy’ in the background!

      R xoxo

  5. 14th July 2017 / 5:02 pm

    Well done and thank you for sharing this Robyn! Everyone has a different journey with weight/shape/size/body image and it’s important that people realise that, so I think it’s great when anyone opens up with their own story. You look incredible in these photos too, those culottes are absolutely dreamy! Sophie xxx
    http://www.sopharsogood.com

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:01 pm

      Thanks SO much! I think there’s a lot of emphasis on weight loss and being bigger these days so it’s important to not banish thoughts and stories of those who are small, as it can be just as much of a struggle!

      R xoxo

  6. 14th July 2017 / 8:50 pm

    I loved this post! As you said everyone has a different weight journey. Thank you for sharing yours! x

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:01 pm

      Thank you so much! Definitely – thanks for reading!

      R xoxo

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:02 pm

      Thanks GORGE! I’m so glad you think so! Plus I love the outfit so much eeeee the trousers have me feeling all sorts of pink vibes!

      R xoxo

  7. 14th July 2017 / 9:39 pm

    This made me emotional. Congratulations gorgeous! You are looking fantastic!!

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:03 pm

      Ohhh girl! Thanks so much for being so kind!!

      R xoxo

  8. 15th July 2017 / 10:26 am

    As someone who has had their fair share of weight stories (an ongoing 10 year ed battle) I love reading other people’s stories especially ones about self love and reaching their happy place so what a great read this was!

    Chloe x
    Thengguidetolondon.co.uk

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:03 pm

      I love reading other people’s stories too and when I was at my lowest I actually found them to be a big help in the right direction! Thanks so much!

      R xoxo

  9. 15th July 2017 / 10:49 am

    Such a refreshing post about body confidence! So happy you feel good in yourself now, you look fab 🙂 x

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:04 pm

      Ah thank you Jennie! I feel SO much better, it’s still obviously an ongoing battle but definitely better than I was!

      R xoxo

  10. 15th July 2017 / 12:01 pm

    This was such a refreshing read. I’m a skinny person and have always been so, but I’ve constantly battled with people – including good friends – whinging about how lucky I am and how grateful I should be in comparison to them, if I dare to mention I feel a bit bloated that day. Good for you in getting out there and overcoming so much, you look fantastic and I’m really happy this is something you’re willing to share and celebrate now! It’s definitely worth celebrating. x

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:05 pm

      I had a lot of the same, and even still to this day. If I say I’m bloated or something then people always come back with comments about it, even though its something we all face! Thank you SO much for reading!

      R xoxo

  11. Chrisi
    15th July 2017 / 3:35 pm

    So much love to you babe. Dead proud to of known you through your journey xx xx

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:05 pm

      Thank you my lovely lady, wouldn’t have done it without you!

      R xoxo

  12. 15th July 2017 / 8:16 pm

    Love this post, Robyn, I’m so glad you’re feeling happy and healthy now! I relate to this a lot – I was at my skinniest when I was at my most unhappy and unwell and now I feel better I’ve gained weight, but I feel awkward talking about it even though I have no reason to xx

    • 18th July 2017 / 5:06 pm

      I think I felt awkward about it too – I wrote similar posts in my drafts for ages but always didn’t post because of the thought of offending someone (even though I don’t know how I would!). I hope you’re feeling way more fab now, you always look amazing!

      R xoxo

    • 20th July 2017 / 8:32 pm

      Oh HONEY! You’re so sweet, thank you so much!

      R xoxo

  13. 20th July 2017 / 9:32 am

    Love this honest post, women should be supporting each other not putting each other down or making us afraid to tell our own story! We are all perfect no matter our size, our differences should be celebrated! Well done on getting to such a happy place mentally about your weight, that’s the most important thing. ❤️

    • 20th July 2017 / 8:34 pm

      Thanks Natalie! Exactly, we shouldn’t feel like any of our stories or journeys aren’t important! Thank you SO much for reading!

      R xoxo

  14. 21st July 2017 / 6:08 pm

    I literally had tears of pride by the end of this post, genuinely! I cannot tell you how incredible it was to read, mostly for your discussion of HEALTH. As someone with anxiety, but also an eating disorder, i’m in the final stage of my “weight restoration” and have hit a bit of a plataeu. Reading a post that CELEBRATES weight gain, it truly helps and motivates me on this final stretch.

    For what it’s worth, you look simply stunning in all your photos, not just appearence (and you are gorgeous) but your writing too. You’re the kind of person I would love to know in ‘real’ life, by reading your blog. It remains one of my go-to reads and posts like this are why! xxxxxx

    • 25th July 2017 / 2:43 pm

      Oh SOPH!! You little cutie. Thank you so much for reading and I really hoped it helped. Nobody seems to celebrate weight gain, and I’m literally so happy about the fact I finally have and that it’s been so well received! That was honestly such a lovely comment to read and thank you SO much!

      R xoxo

  15. Rachael Dickinson
    21st July 2017 / 9:20 pm

    Wow! Great post Robyn. So honest – I feel like going writing my own but I won’t. You also don’t look bigger than a size 8. You look amazing!

    Rachael xox
    http://www.rachaeldickinson.com

    • 25th July 2017 / 2:44 pm

      Girllll definitely write your own if it’s something that you think will help! I wanted to write it because it was something that I wanted to almost get off my chest and share, so deffo do the same if it will help!

      R xoxo

  16. 30th July 2017 / 1:16 pm

    Darling you look sensational! I’d rather know that you are healthy, enjoying food and every single bit of life and got a few stones than that you are thin but full of anxiety. And you have boobs and you look fabulous!!!!

    And thank you for writing about it, I think it might give happiness and encouragement to other women to share similar stories

    xx
    Anastasia
    http://www.natbees.com

    • 31st July 2017 / 4:11 pm

      Ahhhh thank you SO much girly! That’s actually such a good point to make – it’s so much better to be healthy and happy than full of anxiety if you’re ill and not happy with how you are.

      R xoxo

  17. 24th October 2017 / 8:34 am

    Love this and it resonated with me and my own journey so much! I was quite dangerously underweight for a number of years but with time and the love of my fab man, I’m a Size 10/12 and learning to become comfortable and embrace new curves! Only now people me how “skinny” I was and weirdly…it’s quite hurtful, even though it is said retrospectively?!

    Thanks for sharing your story!

    Leigh at Fashion Du Jour LDN
    http://www.fashiondujour.co.uk

    • 28th October 2017 / 12:44 pm

      Thanks for commenting lovely! So glad it connected with you. It’s shocking how hurtful a skinny comment can be but I don’t think people even realise it or do it on purpose. So glad you’re happier now!

      R xoxo

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